I've been thinking lately...and my life is going pretty good.  Although i had them ups and downs in high school, i wouldnt change anything.  Sometimes i think what if i didnt join wrestling..would i be happier? and the answer is no, cuz i got to meet the greatest people through wrestling.  Although it did take its toll on my social activities and school, i got to meet especially my babe through there.  I dunno why i didnt see it sooner that he was special or why we took so long to get together, but i guess he was always there.  Even though i liked other people and i went out with other people, i still thought about him and all the others was just empty nights. 

I remember the first time we danced and how you had to bend a little at your knees so i can reach you comfortably.  That musta been awkward and sore, but it just shows me how much you care.  I remember you walking home with me and us talking all the way trying to figure out who each other liked.  I remember how nervous i was when we first went out alone together.  I remember when we first held hands walking to the carnival.  Being up here is miserable without you.  While everyone flirts with other guys i just think how these guys cant compare to you.  I'm sorry for getting mad sometimes but i just been stressed lately.  I love you nathan and I reallllllly miss you.  Thank you for all your presents you send.  7 weeks and 6 more days baby.  MUAH.

YES! we start hitting the mats on monday..i cant wait.  Too bad i have ring worm but i'll just tape that up.  yuck.  Well mid term grades came out by the end of this week i think...Pre Calc: A. U.S. Hist: hopefully an A.  I got an A on the test..but the quizzes i did ok.  eh..Praying here.  Biology: I got an A on the first test, but she never correct the second test yet...hopefully an A.  English: I'm not sure.  It might be an A or a B.  I got an B+ on the first paper, and a A on the second..eh? Freshmen Seminar: an A.  so hopefully my prayers are answered and I reach my goal of all A's. 

I miss home really bad.  I wish i could come back and still wrestle for a team.  Just under 2 months left...ack.  Plus i gotta loose weight.  I went on my salad diet so hopefully i start dropping the pounds. 

Sometimes life really sucks, but i manage to just smile.  A lot of things are going bad right now..but this aint the place to discuss the bads.  But this is the most depressing time in my life, like whenever i think about it I feel my eyes burning from fighting back tears.  I just feel so powerless. 

I dunno, i cant really share my feelings with people here...i guess i dont really open up and meet new people.  I want to sometime, but i think i just dont have things in common with people.  i want to have a good time, but i want to do good in school and wrestling.  Those are the reason why i left my friends, nate, family, and home.  If i just wanted to party, i could have done that at home...eh. watevers.

Sometimes i think if this is worth it.  I study all the time, do a lot of running and lifting, moved away from all my friends family and nate, have to loose weight for wrestling for what?  A small chance of success??  I wonder if wrestling is right for me.  Like i love it, but do i want to do it for 4 more years? i just dont know anymore...i'll give it a year and see where i stand...

well thats all..

love: sadie

ps. miss you nate, miss you vish, miss you family